Meeting a Computer
by Iridescent Swan
Summary: Hermione and Draco are paired up for a Muggle Studies assignment and Draco finally meets a computer. Enemies, curious friends, a deranged teacher and some Sly Horned Nints... What happens now? DM/HG, please review! :D


**A/N Hey there! Iris here :) So I guess I should make it clear here: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. Just this story idea. Not even the characters *sob* Anyway, so this is my first fic here, and I'd appreciate if you'd review it :D Please and thank you!**

**Bold letters: Draco. Italics: Hermione. Normal letters: words of the hidden being narrating to you this story, or dialogue. **

* * *

DRACO MEETS A COMPUTER

**Draco Malfoy was a normal Malfoy: pureblood, handsome, and rich. Right now however, Draco Malfoy was facing a bucktoothed, insufferable know-it-all mudblood.**

_Oh shut up Malfoy, just because you finally found out how to use a blog—_

**Oh shut up Granger, just because you're muggle doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.**

Hermione Granger is typing…

_Honestely Draco, "pureblood, handsome, and rich"? You'd bore half the population to DEATH. By the way, you have just used bad grammar in your last sentence._

Draco Malfoy is typing…

**I thought that the spelling of that first word up there is HONESTLY without an e.**

Hermione was irritated. She started typing again.

_Fine. But that's because the letters were near each other. And you? What's your excuse?_

**I'm a Malfoy Granger. I do whatever I want.**

_Pompous git. Btw, do you realize what you have just written there?_

Draco looked at his last message and blushed.

**So what if I left out a comma between our names? I'm new at this.**

_Fine. But we better start on this darn assignment if we wanna leave this place by lunch and never come back._

The two students glared at their Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Olive Fray. Otherwise called as Madame Fry.

**If this thing wasn't mandatory… If that overgrown dwarf wasn't Headmaster…**

_Don't you dare insult Dumbledore like that!_

**Make me.**

Draco smirked at girl across him. She looked so mad and her hair was so frizzed up that day that it was like her hair was flaming.

_Just. Start. The. Story._

**Chillax, Granger.**

_Excuse me? Chillax? Where did that come from Malfoy? I thought you detested us muggles._

**It's what's in these days. Even those Slytherin girls use this term, "ikr". Whatever that means.** **Anyway, how am I supposed to start with you interrupting?**

_Like that was part of the story? _

"**There was once a good-looking boy on the greatest thing ever made: computer. Across this handsome being was a normal looking girl who looked so much like a nerd that all she needed were glasses from a certain ghost in a certain out-of-bounds bathroom." There. Your turn Miss Library Queen.**

_Please don't tell me that that was supposedly an insult. Library Queen? Wow. Anyway, here._

"_Unfortunately, this boy has physical and mental disorders. He had an abnormally huge ego, and his hair was an abnormal hue of blond that it looked like it has been accidentally bleached by the dry cleaners. Oh wait, his hair was a wig."_

**My hair is not a wig! And it has been insured by Witch Weekly…**

Hermione stared at the boy in disbelief.

**What? Oh and what a way of trying to unite our houses, Granger, and to "promote interhouse unity…"**

_You started it. So you end it. Until then, this is war._

The two teens glared at each other.

"You're on." said the boy.

"Bring it," replied the girl.

"**However, the girl's hair was so wild and so huge and curly that anyone would be surprised if it wasn't the source of all things evil: lice."**

"_Which killed the boy's hair. It was actually good for him to use a wig. Otherwise, his head would be a hideous sight that Medusa would look away in terror."_

"**On the contrary, the girl's entire being, especially her face, was so hideous that she could have been mistaken for a wrinkled prune."**

"_The girl was kindhearted and loved however. Unlike the boy who had a heart of ice, whose tongue threw daggers at the hearts of whoever heard the words that depart from his egotistical mouth."_

The two teens were so absorbed in this "war" that they didn't notice that two other students were watching them curiously.

"Luna, what do you think is happening to Hermione and Malfoy?" asked the boy.

"I think nargles have just entered their stomach, Neville. Poor Hermione looks so stressed…" said Luna.

"You think we should do something? I have a bad feeling about this."

"On the contrary, it seems to be sending me good vibes. You see, nargles attract these things called norgs, which are ancient, magical dust from Merlin's beard."

"Bless you."

"I didn't curse Neville, they really did come from Merlin's beard. They are the secret ingredient of this certain potion… Sadly, I don't remember. Oh! There's one over Hermione's eyes!

Hermione's heart was racing, and her blood was pumping madly. What was wrong with the world? Of all people, she had to be stuck with the git. She looked over at the boy who was concentrating on the keyboard, which he slammed for the umpteenth time out of frustration.

"Curse these stupid, puny whatcha call it boxes with letters…"

He looked so…different. Hermione noticed the scars on his hand, an effect of the magical fire in the War. She noticed the way his hair went over his eyes, his silver eyes that looked like silver moonlight. Suddenly he looked up and caught her. He smirked. Frustrated, Hermione looked at her computer screen.

"**The girl looked so goofy staring at the handsome boy. She wished oh so desperately he'd be hers."**

Hermione looked scandalized. Horrified. Disrespected. Arrantly shocked and insulted. She also put her answer.

"_However, why did the boy even look at her if she was so hideous? He was just so pompous, conceited, prideful, arrogant and tactless. The girl wondered how his mother handled such a prat."_

"**The boy wondered how a Gryf- the girl who was said to be the Golden girl, brave, loyal and kind, could say such things to a boy like him who was, as she says, a 'prat'."**

It was such an unusual statement coming from Malfoy. Hermione had to pause and think. Finally, she sighed. Sarcasm can hide so well in the computer.

"_And what kind of boy is he? The girl was so used to the boy bullying her, trying to get her and her friends in trouble and even call her such hurtful names since childhood that caused her tears."_

"**This boy was clearly superior to this crybaby."**

There was a long silence. Hermione hated the fact that it was her time of the month, and so she couldn't control her emotions like she normally could. She wiped away her tears angrily. How stupid she was for giving Malfoy that secret of her crying because of him!

Neville looked sadly at his friend.

"Neville?"

Neville was too absorbed in watching the scene before him: Hermione's hand that was wiping away something from her face, and Malfoy's queer expression on his face as he looked at her.

"Oh no, Neville!"

CRASH!

"Ouch… I'm okay," cried Neville.

"Uh oh… Sly Horned Nints. They love tangling your shoelaces, or trying to get you to trip, after dangling inside your uvula. They get dizzy and confused, and then they drop to your feet."

"How'd they get in my uvula? And out of my mouth if ever…" inquired Neville, getting up.

"Your mouth was open wide while you were looking at somewhere in my direction," said Luna in her dreamy voice. Neville blushed. "Erm…"

"Your turn Neville to write, Neville," chirped Luna.

Hermione Granger is typing…

"_At least she has feelings. Sure, she may not be the prettiest girl in the world, but at least she can feel, unlike this statue of Adonis."_

Draco exhaled. For some reason, he caught his breath while waiting for Hermione's reply. He smirked at the last line. However, she wasn't done.

"_The Adonis of gorillas that is."_

**Now what kind of insult is that?**

_Like Library Queen will insult anybody?_ _Your turn._

"**He is not at all a gorilla, but the girl's friend is."**

_KEEP RON OUT OF THIS._

"**The girl's friend Cormac McLaggen"?**

Hermione stopped to look at that last name and tried to stop herself from laughing, but it was too late. A giggle already escaped from her lips and it soon turned into bowlfuls of laughter.

Because of this, everybody turned to look at the brunette, including Cormac McLaggen. Hermione turned to look at the said boy, and she laughed even louder because he was scratching his head, making him look like a gorilla even more. Draco inwardly was pleased that he had made her laugh. He didn't mean the other statement about Hermione being a crybaby, but he wasn't really the kind who easily swallows his pride. Just then, he noticed the stares that they were receiving. He glared at everybody in the room who was looking at their way. They all went back to their computers when they saw this.

"Honestly Granger, they're looking at us. Have dignity…" he told her. Hermione suppressed her laughter and started typing.

_Cormac McLaggen… Nice one._

**Who's the gorilla now?** **Perfect timing… Looking confused and scratching his head at the same time…**

_Alright, alright. Now can we finish this story now? I don't think Professor Olive will appreciate this…_

**You mean the life-sized fish stick on heels smeared with lipstick? **

_Draco!_

Hermione had another round of laughter, but this time it was quieter. Even Draco was chuckling to himself.

**You do realize that you have just called me by my first name?**

_Oh. Sorry then Malfoy._

**Your turn Granger.**

_We should do this more often._

**Yeah. And make fun of the gorilla and the fish stick… So, library right after?**

_You just read my mind :)_

Just then, Professor Olive had just automatically saved whatever was on their computers.

"I shall retain you no longer my pancakes," she said. Her eyes had such a crazy look, and if you add that to her frizzy hair, she looked like a deranged woman rivaling Bellatrix Lestranges'. "I shall see you soon! Pass that assignment tomorrow. At least the draft. Those laptops will be sent to your beds in your dorms. I shall now fetch my fried soup shampoo, for your dear Professor Snape. He would be perfect if he just washed his hair."

Her students were so shocked that all of them had dropped their jaws.

"Too much information…" Seamus said as he got out of the room.

"Blegh, I really think that a fly entered my mouth after that statement…"

"Actually, I think it's another Sly Horned Nint. Watch your step, Dean! You might trip when it gets to your shoelace after it gets dizzy," warned Luna. "I'll see you then, Neville. Good luck with the rest of your classes!" The blond skipped away happily.

"Sly Horned Nint?" asked Dean.

"Yeah," replied Neville. "According to Luna, they were the ones who caused me to fall a while ago. Whoa Ron, you look beaten," commented Neville.

"He had just escaped a hysterical Lavender after he accidentally called her fat," said Harry.

"Oh hey Harry! You're so lucky to get Cho, at least she was decent."

"Well," Harry scratched the back of his head. "It was awkward really, but yeah, it was decent."

"Hello Neville!" cried Luna, causing the boy to jump.

"You just gave me a heart attack Luna…"

"Actually, the Book Stumps who cause heart attacks in libraries are concentrated right over there." She pointed to somewhere above them. "Anyway, why're you looking at Hermione and—oh! Isn't that Draco?"

"Ssh!" He put his hand over her mouth.

"Okay, what now?" said Hermione.

"We plan, we do the story," said Draco. "Ladies first."

"_He wasn't really a friend of hers…"_

**An admirer then?**

_NO! Well, sort of…_

**Ooh… Hermione and Cormac sitting on a tree**

_Malfoy! Hey, you just used my first name! :O_

**You used my first name earlier. And what's with those two dots and the O at the end of your sentence?**

_It's called an emoticon. They're supposed to look like faces. That one stands for a shocked face. This one is a smile :)_

**So what does this stand for :" ? Pansy's been using it a lot…**

_That is a blush. Anyway, shall we start? Your turn._

"**The Adonis boy kidnapped the girl, and Cormac went after them using a broomstick. Unfortunately, he hit a tree after being distracted by Adonis' great body which he envied so much."**

_But the girl was smart, so she stupefied the boy_

**But she missed because she**

_Was so disgusted by his face_

"Hey! Cut it out!" cried Draco as Hermione was laughing madly, causing her to fall off her chair.

"See, Granger? You're too smart for your own good." He walked over to her and tried to pull her up, but ended up tripping because of his shoelaces.

"You are too handsome for your own good, Adonis!" She replied. After realizing what she had just said however, she put her hand over her mouth and blushed.

"See Neville? Nargles aren't all bad," said a voice.

"Luna?" cried Hermione. Hermione got up.

"Draco was also attacked by a Sly Horned Nint!"

"I'm sorry?" said Hermione.

"He was gaping at you while you were laughing, so a Sly Horned Nint got in. When he was laughing, the Nint got dizzy so it tied Draco's shoelaces then he fell. That reminds me, I now remember which potion they are used in!"

"What? What is everyone talking about?" said Draco. "And, we still have stuff to do."

"Alright, Neville," Luna took Neville's hand. "Let's give them time alone, shall we?"

Neville blushed. "Okay."

After the two of them went out of sight, Draco said, "Why don't we start all over? Hi, I'm Draco Malfoy."

"I'm Hermione Granger."

They shook hands and smiled at each other while Neville and Luna peeked at them.

"See Neville? The impossible could happen. They're friends now!"

"So why is it called impossible then?"

"Why, I don't know…" Luna looked into space dreamily. "I guess it depends on you."

"So… It all depends on you then?"

"Yup!"

"So…Will you go out with me on our next Hogsmeade trip then?"

Luna smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
